If you don't have a song to sing, you're okay.

I decided to blog about last night's party separately from my post about the wholesome family movie trip that occured on the same day. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

As Blood Ray mentioned in his post, the party was actually some sort of "Make Amends" extravaganza. Most everyone was on his or her best behavior, with a few exceptions of course. What surprised me the most was the amount of gay young men that I've never seen before in my life. Where did they all come from? Of course, if they don't frequent AMP (which is my home away from home) and if they aren't online, then I'm never gonna see them.

For instance, one young charming man (who will be called Red Cheeked Irish Boy, partly because we discussed his Irish heritage and he had REALLY red cheeks, but mainly because I don't remember his real name) caught my eye. At one point, there was some tasteless flirting, which I kept up for the amusement of an onlooking Blood Ray. I'm not too sure about the details (I was drunk), but i believe he wanted me to go to the Complex. When I told him there was no way that was happening, we discussed the possibility of me waiting for him in the downstairs bedroom. This elicited a walk-by butt grab when I least expected it. Goodbye R.C.I.B. Thanks for keeping it classy.

And when the topic of discussion turned to Dolly Parton (and it so often does), her sexuality came into question. One partygoer insisted that she's a lesbian.

Confession: I have not yet cracked open the Dolly autobiography that I was so excited about. However, I seriously doubt that I'm going to open it up to find, like, "Chapter Six: I'm a Lesbian!"

Anyway, we then started talking about Dollywood and how everyone wants to go.

A pause.

Blood Ray: "Eat a pussy? Dollywood!"

See, every now and then, Blood Ray comes up with a pun or one-liner that just absolutely floors me. We're talking gut-busting laughter.

While trying to find the soup party this winter, we approached a street sign reading "Reber Place." Since I always am looking for ways to showcase my awesome vision, I like to read street signs just a little bit earlier than anyone else in the car. "This is Reber. Is it pronounced rebber or ree-ber?"

A pause.

Blood Ray (with a Southern accent): "Don't go away! Reeber will be right back!"

I laughed for about seven or eight blocks.

One more:

We were discussing the hospitalization of one Miss Shelley Long. Apparently she overdosed on pain medicine. I think someone tried to put a spin on it and claim that she just accidentally took the wrong medicine, but now that I think about it....Does Shelley Long really have a publicist? Really? Anyway...

A pause.

Blood Ray: You know what I'd say to Shelley Long when she woke up in the hospital bed? Hello Again.

And dear readers, if you've made it this far, I have a treat for you. Keep in mind that I haven't left the house or even showered yet today. And download this song. I've listened to it at least five times today.

I have never uploaded anything on this site, but all you have to do is click on the link, then scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the button that says "FREE." The next screen will tell you to wait, like 66 seconds and then the link will appear at the bottom for you to right-click and save. It's totally legit, I promise.

It's Fiona Apple's "Waltz," from Extraordinary Machine. It's not the best song on the CD (that would be "Not About Love"), but it certainly fits today's mood.

Fiona Apple - "Waltz"