Thursday, June 16, 2005

We Are All on Drugs

Anyone out there have a Hotmail account? Well then you'll know what I'm talking about. The rest of you will catch up, I'm sure.

You know how when you log out, they send you to And they always have like 3 or 4 links for top news stories? Well, today they had one that said, "Is Your Teen on Drugs?"

I didn't click on it, but I imagine that the story pointed out warning signs like:

"Is your child suddenly uninterested in his school work and/or previous activities?"

"Is he/she hanging with a new crowd?"

"Does he/she seem withdrawn or agitated?"

You know what? MSN News should just save every parent in the world some time and effort. You should click on the link "Is Your Teen on Drugs?" and it should send you to a page with a giant flashing "YES!!"

Let me break it down for you:

I was on the honor roll in high school. I was in Student Council, Honor Society, and yes, even the German Club. I was a member of SADD. Then one day, the summer before Senior Year, I started smoking pot and doing all kinds of other shit. I'm sure that my mom thought, "No way is my sweet, innocent Joseph smoking pot" up until the very moment she found a sack of weed in my bedroom. Wirklich.

So let that be a lesson to every parent or parent to be. Feel free to print this out and give it to other parents. Dear Abby might be interested in running this in her column, even. Oh, she still with us?


Blogger Absolut Billy said...

That reminds me of those "do you have an alcohol problem/are you an alcoholic" tests they gave us in high school. Like who the fuck HASNT missed a day of work or school cuz you were hung over. Or had more than 3 beers in one sitting etc. Based on that test I think 87% of my school was lushes

8:38 AM  
Blogger Blood Ray said...

The original Dear Abby is with us, but senile, I believe. She passed the torch to her daughter a few years ago.

3:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought one of them died? Ann landers?

4:59 PM  
Blogger Blood Ray said...

Yes, Ann Landers died.

1:03 AM  

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