Worst Day Ever.

Did you know that the city of St. Louis will tow your car if you have four or more unpaid parking tickets? You did? Well, then why didn't you tell me?

I was eating popcorn, sitting on the couch, watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, when I noticed a loud rumbling noise from the street. Sure enough, it's a tow truck loading up my car. I asked the very large man why he was taking it away. It turns out that I owe $250 dollars in unpaid tickets/fines.

I found out that I am a "parking ticket scofflaw." I was told on the phone that I'd need to pay my fines to the City of St. Louis (in addition to the $200 fee the tow yard was charging me -- plus twenty extra dollars per day) before I could get my car back.

Here's the thing -- my car doesn't go over fifty miles an hour, the driver's side door only opens 1/8th of the way, the window doesn't roll down, and it had a flat tire. I'm thinking they can keep it, sell it at one of those seized vehicle auctions. By the way, does anyone know how i could attend one of those seized vehicle auctions? Or if you see an old Ford Escort with a Rilo Kiley sticker on it, would you let me know?

And what's with the word "scofflaw?" Does it really mean someone who scoffs at the law? Because I usually don't. Like, I even hate jaywalking.

I'm an idiot for not paying my tickets on time. I'm not asking for sympathy. I am asking for a car, though, so if anyone has an extra one, please call me.