Dear Laura from Project Runway:

Hi there. First of all, congratulations on having all those kids. You are very fertile.

Now to the main event --

You were my favorite. You always had a witty comeback or insult for the other designers. And yeah, you had cocktails while you were pregnant with your sixth kid. I still defended you.

And now you're accusing Jeffrey of using outside help to finish his line, claiming that no one could have done all that stitching by hand in just two months.

Now, I know pretty much nothing about sewing and fabric and all that, but is it totally out of the realm of possibility? Jeffrey looks like he's on drugs 24 hours a day. I'm sure he had more than a few coke-fueled, 4-day-long sewing marathons.

Of course, I could be totally wrong, seeing that the preview for tonight's finale includes footage of Jeffrey sobbing after a big announcement.

I'd say I now want Michael to win, but I've seen his collection already and there's just no way that's happening. Go Ulli!

Love,
Joe

P.S. Your husband looks like Dr. Wily from the old Mega Man games.